When Andrew and Jaimee met in Christchurch six years ago, they had both recently returned from living overseas. They connected quickly over shared values, an easy sense of humour and the feeling that they had found the right person to build a life with. Wanting to start a family was something that mattered deeply to both of them. With age in mind, they decided not to wait too long before trying for a baby.
Their joy at falling pregnant came early. At twelve weeks, they went in for a scan and learned they had experienced a missed miscarriage. The news was shattering, and the weeks that followed were physically and emotionally draining. Medication did not work, and after days of intense pain, Jaimee was taken to the emergency department for an urgent procedure. “It was traumatic,” she says. “A really hard way to begin our journey.”
As they recovered and began trying again, they soon sought help knowing their fertility window was narrowing with age. The months soon filled with blood tests, medication cycles, rounds of treatment and a hopeful persistence that sometimes felt like a second job. Jaimee jokes that she was told she had “a beautiful uterus”, but behind the humour there was real fatigue.
Over the following years, they experienced two more pregnancies and two more losses. By this point they had tried everything they could. They met with specialists, followed every piece of advice and kept looking for what might help them build the family they longed for. When testing showed that Jaimee had low AMH levels, they were told that traditional IVF was unlikely to help them conceive and that their best chance would be with a donor egg.
Not long before, they had connected with Fertility New Zealand to join the Fertility Support Series. This brought together people with similar experiences to share their stories. These sessions were emotional but also cathartic and made them feel like they weren’t alone.
“We knew conventional treatment was not going to work for us,” Andrew says. “It was around then we found Fertility New Zealand. I went with Jaimee the support session and it reminded me that every story is different and challenging.”
For Jaimee, hearing from someone who had walked an egg donor journey inspired her. “That group gave me hope,” she says. “If it was not for that, we may not have continued.”
Even as they carried the weight of repeated losses, joy found its way into their home in a different form. They adopted a retired greyhound who brought comfort and humour into their days. She also ended up playing an unexpected role in their path to parenthood.
When they joined an online community for people seeking egg and sperm donors, they decided to write their post from their dog’s perspective. It was a gentle and funny plea from a greyhound hoping for a sibling. The post caught the attention of a woman in Nelson who felt an immediate pull toward their story. Her values and life experiences felt aligned with theirs and she offered to help.
Egg donation asks a lot of the donor. There is testing, medication, appointments and the emotional responsibility of helping another family come to life. Andrew and Jaimee speak with deep gratitude about what she gifted them. When she flew to Christchurch to undergo the egg retrieval procedure they met in person for the first time, something they both describe as incredibly special. “Her commitment is huge,” Jaimee says. “We are so grateful.”
The egg retrieval subsequently resulted in five viable embryos. With time not on their side, Jaimee had already booked a transfer appointment in the hope that embryos would be available. And they were. Their very first transfer worked. “Every month felt like a year because I am older,” Jaimee says. “After the transfer I was so hopeful, and when the home pregnancy test came back positive I was elated.”
On the second of October their son Fox arrived. Even now they say it hardly feels real. “It still feels surreal after everything we went through,” Jaimee reflects. “We feel so lucky to be his parents,” Andrew adds.
Their path was anything but straightforward, and there were many moments when the future felt uncertain. They even explored travelling overseas where donor embryo waitlists are shorter.
Through everything, they kept taking the next step, even when the process felt overwhelming. “It can be dehumanising and demoralising,” Andrew says. “Creating your family can feel clinical and harsh. But we would encourage people not to give up hope.”
Hope and connection sit at the centre of their story. “Going through the process almost allowed me to prepare for not having kids,” Andrew reflects. “The effort and emotion and hope. It is like buying a lottery ticket.”
For Jaimee, that first Fertility New Zealand support session remains something she will never forget. “If we had not gone to that session, I do not know where we would be today,” she says.
Now, with Fox in their arms, their overwhelming feeling is gratitude. Gratitude for each other, for their donor, for their community and for the support that helped light the way forward.
