Ask and Expert
Andy Leggat - Health Psychologist
When is the best time to access fertility counselling? before treatment, during, or if things get difficult?
There is no single “right” time to access fertility counselling and importantly, there is never a wrong time! Fertility treatment can bring a huge amount of uncertainty, complex decisions, physical demands and, perhaps most noticeably, emotional highs and lows. Counselling can be helpful at any stage, and when you choose to access it will often depend on your individual needs, your personal circumstances, and sometimes your previous experiences.
However…I’m a strong supporter of people accessing emotional support proactively, before treatment begins. There can be real value in connecting early and having the space to talk through your hopes and expectations, as well as any apprehension or concerns about the pathway ahead. Counselling offers an opportunity to prepare psychologically, understand the possible emotional impact of treatment, and develop personalised coping strategies. Early support can also help you recognise the strengths you already have and think about how to draw on these during treatment. It’s also a chance to explore your support networks, clarify expectations, and consider potential future decisions – ideally helping people to feel more grounded and able to respond flexibly when uncertainty shows up.
During treatment itself, counselling can provide a steady and confidential space. It’s an opportunity to discuss managing hope alongside disappointment, perhaps navigating changing relationship dynamics, balancing work and treatment demands, or coping with the “never-ending” waiting periods that are a consistent part of fertility care. Having a regular space to reflect can help to feel less isolated as you move through each stage.
While we always hope for a smooth treatment pathway, we know that setbacks, hurdles and moments of deep deep grief are not uncommon. If treatment doesn’t go as hoped, counselling can offer a safe space to pause, debrief and work through the emotional impact of what you’ve experienced and what you are sitting with. This can also be a time to reflect on what the journey has meant for you.
Ultimately, (while I may be a little biased 😉 …) I think fertility counselling can be beneficial at all stages of the pathway. I encourage my patients to invest in their emotional health in the same way that they do their physical health. Every clinic has specialised fertility counsellors who are integrated into their wider team. If you would like to find out more about what support is available, make sure to talk to your team and find out how support can be arranged.