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Vanessa's story

February 22, 2019

It’s a waiting game

In September 2012, well before I met my husband, I started having severe pains throughout the month. These escalated to the point where I was referred to a gynecologist. After a range of tests, including ultrasounds and an MRI, I was diagnosed with subserosal fibroids. However, these were apparently not the cause of the pain, and over the next 3 years, I tried numerous pain relief options, before going on the pill, which mostly worked. In December 2014, 6 weeks before my 32nd birthday, I finally met the love of my life. We were married on January 22, 2016. After a few of months, we went back to the gynecologist, as requested in the event that I desired to conceive.  We were referred for an ultrasound which revealed all of the fibroids had grown, one was now 10x12 cm, had become cystic and was pressing on my kidneys. The head radiographer was called and we had to get permission from my gynecologist to leave the hospital, under directions to go straight to A & E in the event of any kidney pain. The next two months were a blur of appointments, the possibility of the tumour being cancer, an MRI, a referral to oncology, a possible hysterectomy, maybe needing to go to Auckland for the surgery...it was terrifying. Finally, the day for surgery arrived, and my first question upon waking was if I still had my uterus and ovaries. Praise God, it wasn’t a hysterectomy - have you ever tried to cry when you’ve just woken up from major abdominal surgery? A further reason to praise God, was when we heard the result that 5 of the larger fibroids, and the big one were removed, and the tumour was not cancerous! After healing, we then began trying to conceive. No luck, and each month ticked by.

Our referral to Fertility Associates was quick, thanks to the notes from my gynecologist, but then more bad news. I have low AMH, so we are informed of the need for IVF. Then, it’s hubby’s turn. 99% MAR antibodies. Our doctor at FA then informed us, our best option was IVF with IMSI. Unfortunately, we still weren’t on the public waiting list, and we were blessed enough to try a private round. We went through that late last year, but were unsuccessful. I’m now 35, and I find it ironic how our fertility journey is much longer than our time TTC.

We still wait as each month slowly ticks by, trying to find ourselves again, trying to work on us, and we wait for our turn for public funding. While we wait, we have the company of our furbabies, a 4 year old cat, and an 8 month old puppy. Surprisingly, the adoption paperwork strongly suggests that people do not apply until their fertility journey is resolved, so even that door is closed at present. It is hard, so hard. So we continue to do what makes us happy - which is dancing - and spending time with family. But we continue to hope and pray, along with our families and our church, for a miracle.

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