Fertility New Zealand walks alongside all people facing fertility challenges.

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where to from here...


Total Posts: 2
Joined: August 12, 2015

Hi there, just joined this site. We've been trying to have a baby for the past 3 years - i'm now 38. I had two early miscarriages about 8 months apart and then went to fertility associates at the beginning of this year. Found out i had PCOS, slightly mis-shapen uterus, and blood clotting disorder (factor v leiden). So it's been good to find all that out... but it so far hasn't helped us to have our baby. Just been on a cycle of Letrozole which made me ovulate - but no luck with pregnancy... so we're taking a month break from Letrozole and will try it again next month... and try on our own this month... it's so hard not to have this consume our lives - it's like being stuck in transit - not able to go home and not able to get to destination! I'd love to hear from other's who have similar issues, and how you are managing to cope with loss and also with struggling to conceive... i guess i just need some support as it's hard seeing all my friends get pregnant and some even by 'accident' - oh what a dream that would be! smiling

Posted on August 12, 2015 at 11:42 AM
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5 Replies


Total Posts: 3
Joined: August 17, 2015

Re: where to from here...

Hi Tania7. I'm 40 and having my first IVF cycle. I'm on day 13 of my injections and due to start my Puregon injections in the next couple of days. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarrages. I have never been pregnant, years of being careful is now bitterly regreted! When do you start your cycle?

Posted on August 17, 2015 at 7:56 PM


Total Posts: 5
Joined: August 9, 2015

Re: where to from here...

Totally understand about difficulty with friends. All but 1 of my closest friends are pregnant now and non of them had any problems conceiving. Finding it hard to be around them, but feel like a misery and horrid person if I avoid them. Tough!

The only thing I have found makes it a little easier is just being honest with yourself and them and trying to focus on something else you share.

Posted on August 21, 2015 at 10:30 PM


Total Posts: 2
Joined: May 23, 2015

Re: where to from here...

Hi Tanya, I'm just about at the 3 year mark with unexplained infertility and a failed round of ivf and iui under my belt. I certainly have my darker moments and with most of my friends and family all with young children now there is a growing sense of social isolation. For the most part now however I'm doing okay - I found myself some new interests and spend time with people not consumed by their children helps too. I avoid baby photos on Facebook and kids birthday parties like the plague though! Honestly though, try to find other things you enjoy and focus on that. Not sure if that will help you at all but so far, that has kept me mostly sane. All the best and I hope you get your baby soon. It's certainly the roughest experience I have had.

Posted on October 27, 2015 at 6:24 PM


Total Posts: 17
Joined: September 19, 2015

Re: where to from here...

Me and my wife had been through this for 3 years. Yes, it was the toughest period, especially for my wife. Unless you have been through it, there isn't much you can say to someone with infertility issues. It’s better to just give loving support instead of explanations, suggestions, and reasons. Most of the times when friends used to break their pregnancy news, it was devastating not because you are happy for them but you are sad for yourself.
I just wanted to assure you that even though sometimes it feels as though the light has gone out at the end of the tunnel and you feel you are getting nowhere, it will happen for you.

Posted on November 5, 2015 at 4:09 AM


Total Posts: 1
Joined: February 16, 2017

Re: where to from here...

Hi Tania,

I have only just signed up to dandelion and i can really relate to your story. Its actually so nice to come on here and find that there are other people in the same situation that i can relate to. I have pcos too and have had 14 rounds of letrazole, two iui's and one miscarriage. We couldn't face another iui so I'm about to now about to start ivf which sometimes i feel positive about and other times just nervous. I completely understand what you mean by feeling isolated - i recently deleted my facebook entirely as it seemed like everyday someone is announcing their pregnancy or putting up baby photos and I have found myself more and more avoiding meeting with friends as i feel separated from them somehow. That said, I started doing acupuncture this Wednesday and was encouraged to make sure that I keep up with and tell a few close friends what is going on and how I am feeling as she said it is important for me to feel supported when going into ivf so I am going to make more of an effort not to isolate myself so much. Not an easy time at all, all the best for your journey.

Posted on February 16, 2017 at 8:59 PM

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