Fertility New Zealand walks alongside all people facing fertility challenges.

Viewing 1 to 16 (16 Total)
Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

waitingforbaby

Total Posts: 10
Joined: August 31, 2014

Hi everyone,
I'm 10 months into trying for my first baby. I feel so alone already. Just like everyone else who has tried for some time I am starting to wonder what is wrong with me. I must mention I feel terrible for anyone who has been trying for longer, especially those who have been trying for years, it must be so annoying for you to see another person complaining after what must seem to you like a short time, I'm sorry, but my heart is breaking too.
All I have ever wanted to be in life is a mummy... but I waited patiently until I had my degree, a good job, got married and brought a house. I wanted to bring my baby into the best life possible but now I feel like maybe I missed my chance..
I feel like there is nothing else I could be doing. I know all about my cycle, fertile times, mucus, BBT, ovulation sticks... I eat well, exercise, don't smoke, drink or do drugs. I've never had an STI. I even had my teeth and gums checked out. I'm under 30. My partners sperm were fine....Yet it seems everyone around me who doesn't look after their bodies are getting pregnant by accident or very easily.
And for some very sad reason my family doesn't seem to understand. It's heart breaking when people just tell you to "stop stressing about it", I'm sure anyone reading this knows that quote well!. I am stressed at times and my period brings so much sadness but most of the time I am positive, excited, and reasonably chilled about the whole experience. People seem to think just because I have researched that I am stressed, but I wouldn't buy a car before researching to find out the best I could get for my money... sometimes it would be nice if someone would acknowledge that it is painful and it sucks.
Is there anyone else out there who is in a similar boat to me??

Tags:
Posted on September 20, 2014 at 1:59 PM
Display Messages: Threaded     Flat
15 Replies

StaceyM30

Total Posts: 5
Joined: September 14, 2014

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

Hi. I don't think there is anything anyone can say that makes things feel better. My husband and I were in the same boat I got a degree, he a trade, got a mortgage, married and started trying for a baby. We were trying for over a year before starting with Fertility Associates and found out we both had issues so IVF is our only option. I definitely think don't stress about anything until after a year, wait for your body to play things out naturally without added stress and then have a plan in action after that such as speaking to somebody. I feel everyone has an opinion and something to offer and they definitely mean well but how you feel is how you feel and completely normal.

Posted on September 21, 2014 at 8:26 PM

waitingforbaby

Total Posts: 10
Joined: August 31, 2014

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

Thanks for your reply StaceyM, Sorry to hear you've had troubles too. Have you started IVF? we are lucky enough to have a great doctor who has referred us to Fertility Associates already and have our appointment tomorrow. How did you find them?

Posted on September 24, 2014 at 7:13 PM

waitingforbaby

Total Posts: 10
Joined: August 31, 2014

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

Just in case anyone out there is reading this.. we had our appointment with Fertility Associates today and they were so good! I feel so much better and feel like we finally have some answers and direction. It turns out I'm not ovulating (despite having periods) so have been started on Clomid on days 3-7 of my next cycle. I have all my fingers and toes crossed for a quick result! We will have a couple of rounds of that and if we don't have success then I'll have a diagnostic surgery because I had a burst appendix when I was 16 which could have caused adhesions... really hope we don't have to go that far though! and Clomid has a chance of twins and triplets... oh well I always wanted a big family smiling

Posted on September 25, 2014 at 5:49 PM

chelsea1987

Total Posts: 1
Joined: August 31, 2014

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

Hi there, I'm so glad I read this post!
I have a similar situation except we've been trying for 3 years. I was diagnosed with PCOS 3.5 years ago and obviously the symptom of infertility has caused me the most grief. I'm 27 and all my friends are having children at the moment so I know how you feel. My partner is 29 and has a daughter from a previous relationship. Earlier this year my doctor had me on metformin to help conceive but that didn't work and made me so ill. We went to fertility associates 3 weeks ago and with all the tests done, my partners sperm was healthy and there were no issues with my tests except my Dr said I don't ovulate. Sometimes I get my period on a normal cycle and sometimes I get it every 2 weeks, so frustrating! Anyway, the Dr recommended that I loose some weight and change my lifestyle which would help with naturally conceiving. In the 3 weeks I've already lost 2 kg and I'm feeling positive about my journey to conceive. We're starting clomiphine in Nov which I'm excited about but very very nervous!!
Wishing you the very best on your journey and sending you out positive vibes xx

Posted on September 28, 2014 at 8:27 AM

waitingforbaby

Total Posts: 10
Joined: August 31, 2014

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

Hi Chelsea!
Sorry for the late reply. Our situation is quite similar. I'm also 27 and totally know how you feel with everyone around you falling pregnant! 8 of my family/friends have fallen pregnant since we started trying and only 3 of those were planned. It is very disappointing when I am doing EVERYTHING to be the most fertile I can be yet my silly ovaries have decided they would rather sleep on the job!
I'm starting Clomiphene this month so we are going to be going through this journey at very similar times. I just want my period to start so we can begin. Slightly dreading the side effects which the doctor didn't really warn me of but heaps of people I have talked to on different forums have told me its not much fun. Never mind, I'm ready and willing! Bring on the mood swings, head aches, and hot flushes...
Well done on your weight loss, it is so bloody hard to loose weight but you're doing well smiling It's nice to know i'm not the only one going through this journey so keep in touch girly! I'll let you know how I go with my first round of Clomiphene and let you know if its as bad as they say. I'm starting on 50mg...
Baby dust to you!

Posted on October 8, 2014 at 6:44 PM

StaceyM30

Total Posts: 5
Joined: September 14, 2014

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

Hi everyone.
We have started our first IVF round, we had 14 eggs taken and find out tomorrow with the 4 that fertilised when they go back in. None of this process has been easy. We have been very open with people that we need IVF but not when its taking place. Its amazing how many people have infertility issues of which its nice to talk to people in similar situations. As I believe unless you have fertility issues it is hard to understand the emotional side. We have been very nervous at each stage, have I had a lot of follicles grow, how many eggs will they extract, how many will fertilise and it goes on. Fertility Associates Hamilton have been amazing at every step so far.

Posted on October 23, 2014 at 7:32 PM

leo1980

Total Posts: 1
Joined: October 27, 2014

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

I'm really thankful to have been referred to this forum. I was in for a routine check-up at the doctor's the other day and after confiding in the nurse, she suggested this site. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for a year and a half. We're both in our mid-thirties so I know we're up against it in the time department. We've done all the tests and everything has come back normal. I'm on my third cycle of Clomid and holding out hope that it takes this time. If not, then it's possible I may have to undergo a laparoscopy. However, the pelvic ultrasound didn't detect any abnormalities so hopefully that won't be necessary.
Like some of you, I wanted to hold off on having children until we had bought the house and secured jobs. Now I'm left wondering if we waited too long. I'd like to think not but it's getting increasingly difficult to keep my hopes up, particularly when everyone around me is falling pregnant. Sadly it's impacting on my social life as I've started to avoid situations where I'm guaranteed to run into a pregnant somebody. My husband is really supportive, even when I'm in my most irrational state. We've talked about IVF but we're not sure if we want to go down that road at this stage.
I can relate to the feelings of loneliness and frustration. Fertility is a sensitive topic and isn't really talked about except with your doctor or those closest to you. It's nice this forum exists. Makes the process less isolating. Wishing everyone a happy end to their journey.

Posted on October 27, 2014 at 6:10 PM

waitingforbaby

Total Posts: 10
Joined: August 31, 2014

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

Hi Ladies,
I have just finished my round of Clomiphene and didn't have any major side effects at all. The only thing was a couple of hot flushes at night, otherwise nothing! smiling. I'm starting my fertile period today so keeping everything crossed that it works!
Welcome Leo1980, it sounds like our situation is quite similar. If you need someone to talk with I'll be here. I don't think many people come here anymore but I keep an eye on this page because I like that it's an NZ page.
Fingers, toes, eyes, EVERYTHING crossed!

Posted on October 28, 2014 at 1:21 PM

waitingforbaby

Total Posts: 10
Joined: August 31, 2014

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

Hi ladies.
I'm not sure if anyone is reading this but it might come in helpful for someone later on so I'll keep posting.
I have awesome news! I am sure I have ovulated, I felt really bloated and a little sore one day, then even more so the next day. I had a constant ache down low in my abdomen, especially on the left side. Then in the morning it was gone. My temperature has also gone up a little. All fingers crossed! So i think I ovulated on day 18 of my cycle.
And now I go into the dreaded 2 week wait! It's only a few days until I have my day 21 bloods so I'm not sure if they will read correctly since I ovulated late but I'm just hoping the next 2 weeks go fast and we get the result we dream of.

Posted on November 4, 2014 at 8:41 PM

hanna24

Total Posts: 9
Joined: August 31, 2014

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

Hi everyone,
we have also been trying for quite a while now. We are both in our 20s still and due to start our first ivf cycle in feb next year.. so ive been getting really nervous about that, excited too but more fear of it not working. My bf has antisperm antibodies so we are doing ivf icsi. We have been trying for about 4yrs so looking forward to getting on with it now.
i totally understand how u all feel with the loneliness and watching friends getting pregnant etc its so hard and the constant talk of when are u going to have kids?? Can get quite annoying, although i realise they don't mean any harm.
This forum is great and I'd like to continue chatting to u all

Posted on November 17, 2014 at 8:35 PM

waitingforbaby

Total Posts: 10
Joined: August 31, 2014

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

Update on Clomiphene round #1... Well ladies, the medication worked- my day 21 progesterone was 68 (70 is the upper limit of normal) so I was very hopeful. However, this was not the month for us. Starting the roller-coaster ride again tonight.. Sigh.. hoping to try and be a bit more relaxed with this round. What will be will be.

Welcome Hanna24. I'm not sure if anyone else monitors this site but I'm keen to keep in touch. It sounds like you've had a pretty long road to getting to IVF, Feb seems like such a long time away! hopefully xmas will keep your mind busy and not too many people do the "when are you having babies?" thing!

Posted on November 19, 2014 at 4:05 PM

StaceyM30

Total Posts: 5
Joined: September 14, 2014

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

Hi everyone
We had one fertilised egg put in last month with ICSI IVF treatment which wasn't successful. It was very disappointing but we still have a frozen egg so hope for successful with that. One thing I have found is everyone says it wont just fall out, but I wasn't pregnant so it did. We are still remaining super positive as with some stories people try IVF many times so I think only once is only the beginning of this journey.
I hope everyone else is staying positive and is seeing traction with their treatment.

Posted on November 19, 2014 at 9:55 PM

sheila

Total Posts: 19
Joined: January 15, 2015

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

I want to thank you for this wonderful program. After years of trying to conceive and a failed IVF and a failed FET, I ordered Pregnancy Herb @ fiokporspiritualtemple@gmail.com According to my infertility doctor it was “very unlikely” that I could be pregnant. But here i am pregnant for the first time in life. I got pregnant naturally just 2 months after my failed FET and after following the Instructions given to me by Dr. I am now 7 month pregnant . I am spreading this story to whomever I meet and who suffers from infertility. he can also restore a broken relationship and make your wish come through.. Do not delete this post, i am helping somebody out here... believed me this is real

Posted on January 15, 2015 at 11:47 AM

kristine403

Total Posts: 20
Joined: April 23, 2015

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

Hi there ladies, I am also on TTC and I just wanted to share with you all a site I've been using to track my ovulation period and I hope it could also help.http://www.ovulation-predictor.org/...

Posted on June 1, 2015 at 2:49 AM

SweetiSharma

Total Posts: 2
Joined: June 8, 2015

Re: Trying to conceive is such a lonely time

This paper discusses brief notes on the evolution of legal systems, especially in the formation of the modern state, and therefore the emergence of new paradigms of law. Therefore, we discuss the formation of the modern state and Post-Modern, from structuring the feudal system to the implementation of the State just like we conceive today. The rule of law crisis, the lack of material resources, the increasing demand for legal rights, access to justice, judicial activism, the normative force of the Constitution are issues inserted in this joint. Also will address issues that permeated the French Revolution and the new conception of society, post Industrial Revolution. The industrialization and science in general changed the way of life, prevailing globalization of ideas and consumer goods, massifying social thought and imposing material needs citizens before incogitáveis. In the constitutional field, the Federal Constitution of 1988 introduced to Brazilian a huge range of subjective rights, fundamental, factors reflected directly in the advent of new interpretative models of law, converges to another state crisis, this time in relation to the judiciary, which goes so far as to substitute the administrator role to analyze constitutional rights of citizens.

IVF cost in India punjab ludhiana
IVF hospital in India punjab Ludhiana

Posted on June 8, 2015 at 9:47 PM

Please log in to report any forum abuse.