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Secondary - trying for #2

FNZ Support

Total Posts: 47
Joined: July 18, 2012

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Hi all.

It's been a few years since I've been on here and we are about to embark on the fertility road again! I'm anxious, scared and worried!! I feel all these things as we spent 1.5 years of TTC naturally before we had to have fertility help. Sooo this is our story: We found out 3.5 years into it that I have PCOS and my partner low sperm motility. What are the chances it is both of us!? We were both devastated!! After undergoing clomiphene and monitoring through Fertility Ass for 6 months (with no success) then finally agreeing to do IUI...falling pregnant in the first cycle, then the roller coaster two weeks that this bought us of having ongoing blood tests saying first we would lose it due to HCG not going up, then next HCG looking hopeful. This continued ...and two weeks later I started bleeding but due to HCG levels still going up they thought I might have an eptopic prey....got admitted to hops and after being in there for the whole day was told I didn't. A few days later we lost our little beansad We were both terribly miserable!! I got very depressed and would cry myself to sleep.I started having acupuncture and found this helped for stress relief and we tried two more rounds of IUI with no luck. We decided to try one more round before we were eligible for IVF publicly. I was pretty adamant we would have to go through with IVF however much to our surprise I fell pregnant!! I couldn't let myself be happy and every time I went to the toilet I expected to see blood. That was the LONGEST 12 weeks of my life and even when we saw our wee baby on the scan I still wouldn't let myself be happy. The 20 week scan came along to find out we were expecting a precious wee girl (either way, we didn't mind...as long as it was healthy).The preg went slow but was a breeze and I actually enjoyed it!! When our wee girl came into the world we couldn't believe we could love someone zoo much! She was our miracle child who we didn't think would ever come! So here we are a year later, a few weeks away from her first bday and we have been talking about TTC for the last few months...just because we know it will take some time...so we are booked in for a consultation with our old specialist and psyching ourselves up for more fertility treatment...only problem is that I haven't had my period since baby arrived. We have agreed to go ahead with two more IUIs and then if that doesn't work we will wait for IVF (that is if we will still be eligible for free IVF)? I am soooo thankful for our one child but would LOVE and LONG for another child. It seems to be consuming my thoughts again like it did a few years ago and I just can't imagine going through it all again!! The heartbreak, the roller coaster ride, the waiting....all of it is starting to get to me!! I just wish things were easier but at the same time I know we are very lucky to have our one child as I know some people long for getting prey the first time! Is there anyone else in the same boat as me? Sorry for the long novelsmiling

Posted on September 3, 2014 at 10:27 AM
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