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Is it time to stop?


Total Posts: 2
Joined: August 19, 2020

Hi everyone

New user here. Sorry if this goes on a bit too much:

My husband and I have been together since we were in our teens. We have always known that we would have to go through IVF with PGD if we wanted children as I am a carrier of a severe medical condition and I do not want to pass this on to a child.
We did our first round of IVF/PGD in 2015 when I was around 26yo. We got 5 day 5 embryos and 2 of them were unaffected by the condition. We did a FET and were so lucky for it to work out. Our son will be 4 in October smiling
In 2019 we did another FET with the second embryo but this was unsuccessful.
Later in 2019, we decided to do another full IVF/PGD cycle but there were no day 5 embryos sad This was very hard and disappointing, and we considered leaving it at that. However, we were able to get the money together to try one more time in June this year.
In this most recent round we got 5 day 5 embryos. Unfortunately, 4 out of the 5 embryos were affected and the fifth one had an 'inconclusive' result. We will be getting this embryo tested again but there are many obstacles in the way (it may not survive the thaw, the embryo may be affected anyway etc). If this one doesn't work out, that could be the end of the road for us.

I am having a really hard time with it. I know that I should be grateful for the lovely son that I do have but I am really struggling. I keep thinking that if we could do it 'just one more time' that it would all work out, but we are very limited with our finances as we have spent quite a bit on the 2 cycles that were not publicly funded. My husband is disappointed but he seems to be getting his head around being a one child family

Basically, how did people go about coping with it being over? How many cycles did you do before you called it quits? Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated.

Posted on August 19, 2020 at 11:10 AM
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2 Replies


Total Posts: 1
Joined: May 16, 2018

Re: Is it time to stop?

I’m sorry to hear how hard your experience has been. It’s a lot to deal with! There is so much to respond to in your message and I want you mostly to know that you’re not alone. We tried to conceive for many years but with no success. It was the hardest decision of my life to stop trying. It’s hard not to think ‘just one more’ or maybe the next one will be the one. For me, the decision to stop wasn’t so much about the number of cycles, but more about how I was feeling. I got to a point where life was not good, and had not been for a while. I knew we couldn’t continue like that. I was pretty rock bottom though. Making the decision was the hardest, but once we had, things got easier, and much quicker than I expected. It was like life had been taking of pause and we could get on with our lives. We don’t have children but life is much better than the years of ‘infertility’. I think it really helps to talk to people, and find others who understand if you can.

Posted on September 1, 2020 at 2:39 PM


Total Posts: 2
Joined: August 19, 2020

Re: Is it time to stop?

Thank you for your reply and support KathrynG. It is certainly a difficult journey and a hard decision to make.

Update on the situation:
I got the results from the rebiopsy and this 5th embryo is also affected. That means that all 5 embryos are not able to be used. The ups and downs of the whole process are definitely pretty hard.
However, we are now considering using donor eggs or embryos, or maybe doing it ourselves 'one more time'. We will have to see how we feel in the months to come and whether we can get enough money together.

Posted on September 16, 2020 at 11:21 AM

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