Fertility NZ is a registered charity dedicated to providing information, support and advocacy to people experiencing fertility issues.

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Single women

FNZ Support

Total Posts: 47
Joined: July 18, 2012

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Hi There
I'm new to this page and have found it helpful reading some of the stories on here as I know I'm not alone on this fertility journey, so thank you so much for sharing.
I'm a single women, nearly 37 with an AMH in the 25th percentile. Therefore, I was told to do IVF instead of standard IUI due to my AMH being so low, because if I waited for IUI it would probably be to late, as a result I have been on the waiting list for IVF with Fertility Associates Remuera since January, due to reduced wait times for sperm donors.
I'd been told the wait would be about 6 months and as that time was up a couple of weeks ago I decided there would be no harm in calling to see where I sat on the list. The lady looked at my file and saw I'd been on the list since January and said you can come in (I felt like if I hadn't called I'd still be waiting). Anyway, I jumped at it of course and was really excited this part of my journey was up.
I didn't have any real expectations walking in to look at profiles, I knew there'd probably only be 3 - 5 and didn't have any specific parameters as I wanted to have an open mind. When I told the lab tech this she said "Good, go for the youngest donor, with the freshest sample." There were 3 profiles and I'm afraid to say I didn't choose any. There were two with genetic learning disabilities, one was a smoker (which I've continually read inhibits fertility for both males and females), but the most concerning thing was all three of the profiles had donated 5 years ago and all 3 were 50ish when doing so. So with the lab techs words ringing in my ears I decided to be patient and wait for more profiles as I don't want to flush my chances down the toilet. Now I'm scared that this is what I'm in for. I know I'm unlikely to find my "dream" profile, but I thought at least one would be a "fresh" sample out of quarantine?? Am I being unreasonable? Has anyone else been through this. I'm now wondering if Fertility Associates is the right place for me? Now I have to play the waiting game again, which is scary with the AMH clock ticking. I think I'll ring in a couple of weeks time because I worry that if I don't I'll be forgotten......... Thanks for taking the time to read this, your thoughts would be much appreciated x


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HI there,

I had IVF treatment in Sydney at IVF Australia as I was living there at the time. The waiting list for donor sperm (at that time) was only 3 months so that was a significant advantage. I had a very positive experience and have a 15 month old son as a result.

Regards,
Rochelle

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Hi Everyone, I am a 39 single woman. My doctor recommended going outside NZ for IVF. Lack of donors and especially for single woman is one of the reasons. Also I don't have much time to waste because of health problems. I know few woman have gone to San Diego for IVF. I have been researching it. personally I would prefer going to London for treatment.

Has anyone out there gone to San Diego fertility clinic or any other clinic outside NZ. I would like to hear about your experience. I thought it would make things a little bit easier as I will be doing it on my own and in a foreign country.

Thank you
Dani

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Hi there, thanks for sharing your story last year. I have just joined this site and hope that by now you have your beautiful bab[baby or one on the way? Not sure if this thread is too old or if anyone will see this but I would love to hear from any other single women who chose to have a baby via sperm donor. I have one beautiful little boy and would like a second but am single. The
Fertility clinic that I approached seemed fairly pessimistic about my chances of getting a donor and said that the wait could be up to two years. Is this in line with you r experience of wait time? And has anyone out there sourced their own donor via advertising? Any advice or thoughts would be most appreciated. Thanks

Tags:
Posted on September 3, 2014 at 10:39 AM

auntyk

Total Posts: 1
Joined: August 31, 2014

Re: Single women

Thanks a lot for your replies. I'm still on the NZ list with current conversations saying there isn't anything coming up within the next few months.
I've looked into Australia and they're still saying approx. 3 months, which sounds good to me. So I'm going to get moved into my new house in October and if the New Zealand feedback is still the same I'm going to go on the Australian list.
They said they can do the initial counselling session and consult over the phone and were really supportive over the phone so fingers crossed one way or another I'll get a baby in my belly!!!

Posted on September 8, 2014 at 9:02 PM

Laylita

Total Posts: 2
Joined: November 27, 2014

Re: Single women

Hi, I too, am wanting to use donor sperm, though am not on any lists as or yet. I am trying my luck with finding a donor online first. Been looking for over a year now, with out much luck. I have heard from various sources that the wait for donors at fertility associates Christchurch is 2-3 years for a couple. I am a single, 23 year old, so my chances would be extremely slim to none.

Posted on November 27, 2014 at 12:14 AM

FNZ Support

Total Posts: 47
Joined: July 18, 2012

Re: Single women

Hi Laylita,
I'm not aware of any donor sperm waitlists in NZ being 2-3 years for a couple. I understand that most of the country is somewhere around 12 months for a couple, and it may be longer for single women (as some donors will specify their recipient to be a couple). Best to call Fertility Associates Christchurch, or Genea Oxford, to ask about their waitlists.

Regards, Nicola (FNZ)
0800 333 306

Posted on December 3, 2014 at 11:29 AM

Laylita

Total Posts: 2
Joined: November 27, 2014

Re: Single women

Hi,
I'm a 23 year old single woman. Sadly, I also cannot afford the up front cost of fertility treatment.

Posted on December 3, 2014 at 10:41 PM

FNZ Support

Total Posts: 47
Joined: July 18, 2012

Re: Single women

Hi Laylita, be very cautious in sourcing donors if doing so privately. Our advice is always to go through clinics - it protects both parties. Medical screening is undertaken as well as counselling / suitability. Going through a clinic also gives you documentation clearly recording your relationship as donor/recipient. Without that, there is potential for consequences down the track - examples of which include the recipient seeking child support from the donor; or the donor seeking custody / day-to-day care of the child. A legal agreement is therefore essential if you are not going through a clinic. There are support networks in Wellington and Auckland for single-mothers-by-choice. They both welcome women considering single motherhood. Let me know (support@fertilitynz.org.nz) if you'd like more information.

Posted on December 17, 2014 at 12:09 PM

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