Emotional symptoms

Emotional Symptoms:

Depression

It's normal - and quite OK - for people to feel depressed about their fertility problems, and it's normal for them to want to avoid contact with people at times.

Avoidance

Don't be surprised or offended if your friend or family member doesn't want to spend time with you.  If you have a young family or are pregnant, it may be just too painful for them to be confronted with your fertility.  Maybe they just want time to be by themselves for a while.  Family times such as Christmas, Mother's and Father's Days and christenings are particularly difficult times, as they are surrounded by everyone else's families.  They may feel obliged to attend though they feel very uncomfortable.  However, don't stop inviting them.  Leave the choice up to them.  Let them know that you'd like to see them, but will understand if they don't want to attend.  They need to know that you care, and they may eventually want to take up some of those invitations.  Try not to cut them off, even if you haven't seen them for some time.

Secrecy

Some people don't reveal their infertility to anyone, even to close family members.  Many choose to tell just a few close people.  They might do this because they fear that people will believe the wrong things (eg. That they're not "doing it" right), say the wrong things (eg. "Borrow my husband for a night - I only have to look at him and I'm pregnant!") or put them on the spot about it.  Some simply believe that it is a very private thing, and no-one else's business to know.  Still others feel too vulnerable and sensitive about it to discuss it with anyone.  You should respect your friend's or relative's wishes regarding confidentiality.